Behind The Scenes: David & Scott’s Off The Tools Alliance Retreat
For most of my life, I’ve struggled with groups of people. Big groups, small groups, familiar faces, total strangers – it didn’t matter. I’ve cancelled last minute, made excuses, lied, or simply not turned up at all. I’ve flaked. The anxiety has followed me for years, and it’s cost me friendships, experiences and connection.
Why the Off The Tools Alliance retreat mattered
So when I was due to attend a business retreat arranged by the inspirational Wayne Bettess and Andy Jones of the Off The Tools Alliance, all the old feelings came rushing back.
My business partner Scott has been part of their community for a while, and we’ve implemented many ideas from Wayne, Andy and the group – ideas that have genuinely shaped our success. I’ve joined webinars, watched from the sidelines and admired how Scott has grown as an entrepreneur… without wanting to tread on his toes.
One-to-one, I’m fine. Better than fine, actually – I thrive. I’ve built strong relationships with clients, customers and our team. I’ve worked with a sales coach and a therapist to build on those foundations, and it’s helped me to become a better business owner, father and husband. But groups? Of men? Manly men? That’s always been the lane I stayed out of. Last week, I veered straight into it.
We arrived late on the Friday morning. Scott’s partner Amy is a paramedic and works nights, so we couldn’t leave until she got home. There was an option for me to go the night before, but that was never happening. I’d already considered dropping out altogether – turning up early, alone, without Scott, was unthinkable.
Arriving late wasn’t ideal either. Work had already started, and although Scott knew most of the lads, I hadn’t met anyone before other than Wayne. While he was shaking hands and doing the classic man-hug circuit, I was scanning the room for an empty seat and trying to stop my heart from escaping through my ribcage. I awkwardly shook an outstretched hand – cheers, Alfie – and briefly considered doing a full lap of the room shaking everyone else’s. Thankfully, I didn’t. I found a seat, opened the workbook and slowly started to settle.
Working on business, body and balance
Looking around, I realised something important: fifteen other business owners had given up their time to work on themselves and their businesses. I was exactly where I needed to be. Throughout the day we talked objectives, time management, money management and the three Bs – business, body, and balance. Wayne and Andy weren’t just coaching us to be better business owners, but better husbands, more present fathers and men who look after themselves as well as their customers.
It hit me again: I was exactly where I needed to be.
Feeling welcomed by the group
There were a few awkward moments, of course. The retreat was on a working farm, and the food had – quite literally – been walking around on it days earlier. Our host proudly informed us that one of the cows, “Bessy… God bless her,” had been butchered for the occasion. As the lads tucked into beef lasagne and later beef stew, I was quietly trying to camouflage my vegan plate with enough veg and salad to avoid suspicion. I even took a gamble on the potatoes being butter-less. The mission was simple: look normal, raise no questions, reveal nothing.
After lunch, we got back to setting targets and discussing improvements. One of my goals was to start writing a monthly blog. You’re reading the first one. I’ll also be using it to introduce myself properly to the Off The Tools Alliance – partly for accountability, but mostly as a thank you.
A huge thank you.
To Wayne.
To Andy.
To every bloke on that retreat.
Thank you for welcoming me with open arms, for involving me in the discussions, and for making a socially awkward, insecure bloke feel genuinely part of something special.
The conversations that made the weekend worthwhile
However, the awkwardness didn’t end at lunch time. I’m currently off alcohol, so when the rest of Bessy came out and the beers started flowing that evening, it took everything in me not to disappear to bed. But if I had, I’d have missed a brilliant conversation with Jamie about heat pumps and the projects he’s been involved in.
If I hadn’t gone at all, I wouldn’t have met Joe and talked about our business journeys and how we can potentially collaborate in the future. I wouldn’t have laughed with Dave about his one-man strike back in our British Gas days. I wouldn’t have met the hilarious Vinnie. I wouldn’t have received a very cool Off The Tools cap, coffee cup and bottle (great merch, Andy). I wouldn’t have experienced any of it.
What I took away from the retreat
From the moment I arrived, I felt genuinely welcomed. The group was warm, inclusive and made the whole weekend meaningful. The mix of deep work and proper downtime was spot on – the sound bath, the cold plunge, the sauna sessions… all of it was revitalising.
Jamie’s advice on heat pump anxiety was invaluable, Joe’s jacuzzi chat was enlightening and reminiscing with Dave about our shared BG trauma was a highlight.
It was a weekend of great food (even if I didn’t eat most of it) and even better company. I’m truly grateful to have been part of it, and I’m looking forward to now joining the Alliance.
Thank you again for an unforgettable experience.
Now, you’re stuck with me!
Thanks again lads.
David
